


Life Is Now

by womenstan



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: F/M, M/M, No Angst, but mostly its just him being happy now, david gets top surgery and his friends celebrate it in a special way, sort of an ending to an hypothetical david season 5, we get a glimpse of how sad david used to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28868769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womenstan/pseuds/womenstan
Summary: David gets top surgery and his friends decide to celebrate it in a special way. Or David leaving his past being and looking forward.
Relationships: Jonas Augustin/Hanna Jung, Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	Life Is Now

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely for Tyler (@high-on-skam on tumblr). It's his idea, I just tried to do it justice and make it come to life. It's what Tyler imagines the last clip of a David season could look like. 
> 
> I do want to say that I am not transgender myself and while I did get help for some more technical informations, if there's anything that is off or wrong, don't hesitate to comment or dm me about it. 
> 
> I also wrote this in one go without really rereading or betaing so if there's mistakes woops. Italics are song lyrics <3
> 
> On that note, please enjoy and leave a comment if you're that way inclined. Mwah xx

From the window of his Berlin apartment, David could see the warm orange lines the setting sun was painting in the sky. The low hum of traffic, the screams of happy children leaving school, the flocks of birds flying high in the air, every little thing that would normally be annoying felt almost liberating to David. In a few hours, he too would leave his burden behind and move on to a better, freer life.

David let out a resolute sigh and crouched in front of his wardrobe. Opening the old wooden box, he softly caressed its edges, lost deep in thoughts. In the background, a soft melody resonates, the deep singer’s voice reverberating on the walls, enveloping David in a cocoon of warmth and safety.

_You can’t change me, can you save me?_

For the longest time, David felt like he would never be allowed to have this. Love, someone who would both love him and know him entirely. He had carried his burden for so long and been wronged by so many people that he’d come to believe that he was simply unlovable. He firmly intended on hiding and on running away when he needed to. Better not to be known than to be abandoned. But, as David came to learn upon meeting Matteo, you can’t choose who you fall in love with and once love has stuck its claws into you, there’s no escaping it.

With Matteo, David learned he, too, deserved love. More than just a boyfriend, a soulmate, David also found a family through Matteo’s friends who were so quick to stand up for him and to adopt him as their own. At first, David would spend hours wondering how these people could truly care for him, love him even, waiting for the fatal blow, the one day where they would all wake up and realize he was not worth their affection.

That day never happened.

With time, and with the reassuring words of his love and his therapist, David slowly came to accept who he was. Being surrounded by people who were always so accepting of who he truly was, in all of his glory and all of his flaws, was truly liberating. The fact that no one ever pressured him into being more this or more that, never questioned his choices or why he made them and always supported his endeavors is what helped him find some kind of peace within himself.

It wasn’t always perfect. Some days, he still felt stuck inside of a foreign body, wishing he could escape or mold it to his liking, but he was getting closer to loving himself. There were now more good days than bad days and this alone helped him keep going. Having his top surgery was definitely the real step David had needed to embark on this self-love journey. As soon as he was allowed to remove his bandages and see his flat chest for the first time, he felt his eyes burn with hot tears. He had cried so often thinking about his body before, nights spend wishing he could be a little less curvy, a little less busty, a little less of so many things, tons of tears spent wishing he could be a little different.

But today, seeing his chest flat for the first time, he wasn’t crying the same tears of pain, hurt and self-hatred. Today, the only emotion David could really feel was relief. Just pure, unfiltered relief. Relief to finally be free, relief to finally belong in his own body, relief to finally be **himself**.

Every day, when he woke up and realized that the sight of his own chest didn’t make him feel ill anymore, that he could leave his binder behind for good now, he felt overwhelmed with such happiness that he had to sit down for a moment and bask in it.

So, yes, he did feel freer and happier now, but despite all of this, David was still carrying a burden he felt too scared to let go off. In Matteo and his’ wardrobe, neatly folded on top of the dresser were his binder and his baggy clothes (which made quite the contrast to Matteo’s clothes scattered all across the floor in little piles). Logically, he knew he didn’t need them anymore, but there was something inside him that stirred whenever he tried to throw them away. It just felt too small, too easy. These items had been his hideout for so long that simply throwing them away without any ceremony made him feel uneasy. He needed a real closure.

That’s where the boys came in.

Surprisingly enough, it was Carlos who got the brilliant idea of reuniting everyone together for a bonfire to celebrate David’s top surgery. It was both an excuse to see each other again, as university had scattered them all around, and a great way for David to get rid of his past and look to the future along with the ones he loved most: along with the ones he wanted to be part of his future.

_I want to be someone else or I’ll explode_

So, here he was, one month after his surgery, sitting crossed legged in front of his dresser, a wooden box open in his lap. Taking a deep breath in, David slowly raised his hand, reaching for the first shirt. He still felt a little uneasy at the idea of getting rid of these, but a much bigger part of him just wanted to be relieved of the burden and the hurt they represented. As the beat of the music picked up, so did his rhythm, now throwing shirts carelessly in the box. It wasn’t quite therapeutic, but it felt like another step in the right direction.

Once the box was filled and the top of the dresser was cleared, David closed it delicately, grabbed it and made his way to Matteo’s work. The sky was starting to darken, the first hint of moon being visible far away near the countryside. The roads were almost empty now, the occasional car passing by. Speeding up his cycling, David felt the warm air of the summer night hit him in the face. Normally, David might have found it irritating, but not tonight. Tonight, it felt oddly calming, like he could physically feel himself going forward, leaving his past behind.

He reached Matteo’s work quickly, entering the vintage pizzeria and sitting himself at the bar, waiting for his boyfriend to notice his arrival. As Matteo finished writing down an order, he turned his head towards David’s seat, failing to hide his growing smile once he’d recognized him. The two of them smiled softly at each other as Matteo made his way over.  
  
‘Hey you’, Matteo whispered, looking fondly at David, before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.  
  
‘Hey, missed me, did you?’ David answered, chuckling at his boyfriend’s need for physical touches, as he slid his hand in David’s absentmindedly.

Matteo raised his eyes and held David’s gaze seriously for a moment, before looking away bashfully as he answered ‘Always’, his tone honest and open.

They stayed like this until Matteo had to go help another customer and about twenty minutes later, they were out of the door, coffees in hand. They walked alongside their bikes, stealing kisses as they made their way to Jonas and Hanna’s apartment a few blocks from Matteo’s work.

Before they could even reach it, the pair was already walking up to them, embracing each of them with bright wide smiles. ‘I missed you’ and ‘We need to do this more often’s were exchanged, before they all piled up in Jonas’ beat up Volkswagen.

The drive to the beach behind Hanna’s cabin passed by quickly as the friends exchanged anecdotes and bickered about the song choices.

‘Look, man, nothing against you’, began Jonas, looking at David in the rearview mirror, ‘but I’d rather not listen to the entirety of Hozier’s discography right now’.

The others joined on the mockery while David tried to defend himself, assuring them he listened to _other things too_. In the end, they settled for the radio and had to suffer through endless undistinguishable English pop songs.

_Wait and see, I’ll be makin’ my own way now, to where I’ve got to be_

Laying in the sand, his head atop his crossed arms, David was lost in thoughts. The dark sky above him was filled with stars that shined bright away from the buzzing lights of the city.

There was a time, not so long ago, where David would have been tempted to join those stars, to make a final escape, far away, in a place where his problems could never reach him.

Now though, in the stillness of the night, the heat of the bonfire warming his outside and the sound of his friends’ laughter warming his inside, David found himself at peace with his own existence. It was the first time he’d felt like that in as long as he could remember and he almost felt like crying.

Behind him, Jonas called yelled at everyone to gather around the bonfire. He took his guitar out, shushing the playful whistling and hollering from the group. Sitting himself down in the sand, he cleared his throat.  
  


‘To you, David, and to your happiness’ Jonas said, before he began to strum his guitar lightly.

As soon as he sang the first words, David recognized the song immediately.

_With the same shock of when Adam first came_

David could feel his heart swell with love for his friends.

_Be, be, be, be, be_

His throat felt tight with emotion and he could feel tears starting to pearl at his eyes.

_Be as you’ve always been_

The first warm tear ran down his right cheek.

_Oh, won’t you be? Oh, won’t you be?_

The second tear was quick to follow. Soon, his cheeks were completely soaked with them, just as his heart was soaked with gratefulness and love.

_Be as you’ve always been_

As Jonas strummed the last notes of the song, David felt, and probably looked, like a mess, albeit a good mess. The air stilled as everyone seemed to hold their breath in emotion. Kiki was the first to break the silence.

‘Group hug!’ She yelled, starting to get up, Carlos in tow.

Everyone huddled together, a mix of tears, smiles and laughter as they clumsily hugged each other. As they all slowly retreated, everyone turned their gaze upon David in a silent interrogation.

‘It’s time’, David confirmed, still feeling shaken.

Everyone sat back down around the bonfire, the air suddenly much more serious than it had been moments ago.

‘I’ll go first’, said Hanna. Slowly, and a little reluctantly, she got up and approached the bonfire. In her hands, she held what looked like one half of a friendship necklace. Coming to a still in front of the fire, Hanna took a deep breath to prepare herself, raised her gaze to the flames and threw the necklace in. As soon as she turned back towards the others, everyone clapped and congratulated her and she couldn’t help but smile.

One by one, everyone threw something in the fire. From Jonas’ weed grinder to Kiki’s weight journal, passing by Carlos’ abi report card, they all took turns getting rid of their own personal burden.

Soon enough, only David was left. He’d expected to feel more anticipation and anxiety once he had to take his turn, but he felt strangely calm holding his wooden box as he walked up to the bonfire. It was like some kind of peacefulness had enveloped him as soon as he got to his feet and he found himself smiling a little as he opened the box and took the items out. He gave one last look over his shoulder, quickly finding Matteo’s encouraging gaze, before turning towards the fire resolutely.

Putting the box on the sand, he held his past in his hands. Closing his eyes, he took one last deep breath before opening them and throwing everything in the fire. As soon as the clothes were out of his hands, David couldn’t help but smile wildly, releasing the tension he’d been holding for years. He turned around and walked away from the fire, never once looking backwards. _Onwards, now._

Everyone scrambled up and cheered, screams, laughs and jumps coming together in some strange celebration.

‘Last in the water loses!’, shouted Abdi, immediately breaking into a sprint, with everyone following closely.

As the fire roared behind him, his friends’ laughter filling his ears and his own happiness filling his heart, David felt freer than he’d ever been before. With every step he took towards the water and away from the fire, he could feel the weight of his past lift off of his shoulder. He felt his tank top stick to his front as he ran faster, giggling along with everyone else.

As he reached the water dead last, he opened his arms, embracing the waves as he embraced his future, a goofy smile on his lips that wouldn’t leave him for hours still. As everyone splashed around in the water, David let himself float on his back, filled to the brim with a feeling that had been foreign to him up until then.

_Hope, it’s the most wonderful feeling of all._


End file.
